RASMUS…..
If it were up to me no one’s birthday or graduation or other
important event would be remembered, because that’s the type of person I am; I
can’t make it anywhere on time, or even on day, and I tend to forget where I’m
going to begin with. But because it’s your moment I remember things like this,
and I know exactly how long we’ve been best friends. Because that will be the
first thing you tell me after you read this. Thank you for knowing that. Thank
you for knowing all the things I don’t.
Thank you for always being closest to me even when we were in
separate time zones and separate stages of life. Thank you for not letting us
get split by dumb facts like distance or time. Thank you for never giving up on
our friendship, for never shrugging and being like “Eh, things change, people
change” and drifting away vaguely because we’re victims of circumstance. We all
get distant to a certain degree when we make huge transitions but you didn’t
let me get very far because you knew what was truly important.
Thank you for taking care of me in every way possible, for being
there when no one else was or wanted to be and when you didn’t even have to be.
Everyone has those friends who are close but not really; who you always feel
kind of awkward and weird about asking for help and like you have to clarify
you’ll do them some kind of favor in return, but you’re not one of those. You
never got mad when I didn’t call you for weeks on end because I was too busy
being someone’s boyfriend, but you were right there to pick up my
heart-splinters when things predictably shattered. You were and are there for
everything, no bargaining or explanations needed.
Thank you for being a different friend than everyone else,
different from the friends who are only there for the fun things, Thank you for
always being fun even when we’re not having fun. I don’t know how else to
explain that.
Thank you for believing in me when I was too weak and exhausted to
believe in myself. Thank you for pushing me, for repeating those affirmations
that don’t mean anything in inspirational films but mean everything when
someone who cares about you says them. Thank you for not judging me when I did
something really stupid, but also thanks for telling me I was an idiot and
probably shouldn’t have done the stupid thing. Thank you for always being
honest.
Thank you for doing all the things a real best friend does; for
letting me sob into your shoulder when I need to and handing me the flask when
there aren’t any more words. Thank you for always knowing who I am and
reminding me of that when I forget. Thank you for being genuinely concerned
with the outcome of my life and always listening, even when you’re tired. Thank
you for telling me the things no one wants to hear and sparing the bullshit
advice. I can’t think of many other people I’d actually take a bullet for.
And yeah, I know everyone likes to make grand emotional claims
like that in Courier typeface against some Polaroid of a lonely lamppost, but
the difference is I’d actually do it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY ANGEL
Love always,
ERASMUS
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