Many men are quick to conclude that their partners are
satisfied with their sex life simply because the woman has not been complaining.
However, they also express surprise that their partner is
hardly in the mood for sex, and she is always coming down with headaches and
tiredness towards bed time.
Experts say while the excuses may be valid on occasions,
often, there are underlying problems that make the woman avoid sex, even when
she doesn’t necessarily love her partner less.
So, what are the five reasons that make women avoid sex?
These ones…
• She’s finds sex painful
Sex should feel good — but 11 percent of the women in the
survey reported feeling pain during sex. In fact, a separate study of nearly 7,000
British women also found that one in 13 women feel physical pain during sex. This
made women more likely to feel uninterested in sex. Plus, they also had more
trouble getting wet and reaching orgasm.
Focusing on foreplay, and a using little lubricant when she
needs extra help can help remedy the situation, says lead study author, Dr. Kirstin
Mitchell. Focusing on making her feel good will lead to less pain and more
arousal, which ultimately leads to more (and better) sex for the both of you.
• You can’t get hard
This one is a bit out of her control: Six percent of women
surveyed reported that their partner had sexual issues, like erectile
dysfunction. While that may be out of her hands, it’s completely up to you to
take care of your erection problems.
• She’s too tired
According to a survey of 2,000 women aged 30-80, a quarter
of women reported avoiding sex because they were too tired. Indeed, a 2010 poll
by the National Sleep Foundation found that married people or couples living
together were too tired for frequent sex 21 to 26 percent of the time.
• There’s a lack of intimacy
Women say they avoid sex due to a lack of intimacy. Feeling
connected to you is crucial for her, since research shows that women have
trouble reaching orgasm if they’re not psychologically aroused. So, you can’t
just push the right buttons physically — she has to feel mentally turned on,
too.
• She feels anxious
Thirteen percent of women in the survey reported avoiding
sex because they were anxious. This could potentially stem from any pain she’s
feeling. In the study, women often felt anxious during sex because they started
anticipating painful sex, Mitchell explains.
Feeling self-conscious about it can also make her feel
nervous, as she may not want to bring it up and hurt your feelings. If things
feel awkward, just communicate with her: Openly ask if what you’re doing feels
good and go from there.
Punch
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